Just recently, a beautiful woman I once knew had passed. She committed suicide. The last time I saw her was not too long ago. I saw her in the hospital and both her and I were there for the same thing.

Attempted suicide. I waited about 12 hours to pass until I went into the hospital. I called tele-health Ontario first. The nurse told me to go to the hospital because I could damage my liver if I waited any longer. The sad part: I was told at the hospital “well, you’re fine now so you won’t be seen for a while.” Truth was, I wasn’t fine. I wanted to talk to someone. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get angry. I even went to a hospital emergency where I was told to go becuase it had a special on-call psychiatric care team. My question is this: how many people have been in my situation and could not get the help they needed? Here is an article link describing the “quiet crisis” and the instance where a suicidal man hangs himself while waiting to see a doctor.

I wonder if the woman I once knew had the same issue. From reading on my friends’ FB pages, it is apparent she felt the way she had for a long time and wanted to be in the end for a while. It scared me to read this because I have felt the same way for a long time. It is really scary to know that this woman died this way and that another did the same while waiting for a Doctor.

I know that I don’t really want to die. I know that I want to live. I know that death is permanent. I want to accomplish a lot in my life. It is also sad to me that it is knowing the fate of this woman that this is what is changing me. I wish it wasn’t the loss of this lovely person that is making me want to seek help and change but it is. I am seeking help and I am wanting to change.

I know that suicide is a personal, sensitive subject. If you or anyone around you knows someone who had talked about suicide or wanting to end their own life, please give them this number/information found on this page. Click here! It is a 24 hour crisis line and self referral mental health help, as well as a face-to-face intervention. Please don’t take the thought of suicide lightly.