A poem: Not your fault

Today this post is dedicated to the work I have been doing in counseling. For years, I have struggled with my past experiences and I am just finally talking about it with someone else. They said, “you know what happened to you, wasn’t your fault…it was the trauma you experienced.” I know that it’s not “traditional” to share with the rest of the world that you are receiving help, like counseling. But who says I am “traditional”?

I wrote this poem to help get my emotions and thoughts out of my head. In this journey called life, it wasn’t that I couldn’t get help or that I didn’t have the help…I just didn’t know how to ask for help. This poem isn’t a poem about me and expecting people to sympathize with me. In fact, that’s the last thing I want. I just want people to know that, it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to get help. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help. I believe that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign of strength and courage to realize that you can’t do everything on your own, and to ask for help from others.

Not your fault

Everyone told me,
You have to be careful Naomi
Watch what you say,
Watch what you do,
What where you walk,
Is it my fault that I walked the wrong way?
Nobody told me,
But Naomi,
You have to watch your back
Is it my fault that I didn’t watch my back?
Nobody told me,
Naomi you can’t trust everyone you met
Some call it naivety
Some call it stupidity
I call it hope,
Is it my fault that I hope,
Hope that the next person won’t hurt me?
Nobody told me,
People you trust,
Can be people that hurt you,
Can be people that take,
The only things you own:
Your body, your heart, and your soul.
Everyone was telling everyone
Else, but me
What happened to Naomi
Wasn’t her fault.
Nobody told me,
Naomi, but you have to learn
Everything on your own.
Is it my fault that I learned everything
On my own?
Nobody told me,
That I could ask for help,
That I didn’t have to do this on my own.
Is it my fault that I did this on my own too?
Everyone told me,
Naomi I can help you
But nobody told me,
Naomi, it’s okay you can ask me for help.
Everyone told me the help was there.
Is that my fault too,
That I didn’t ask for help from you?
Everyone was telling everyone
Else but me,
Naomi, it’s not your fault.
Is it my fault, I didn’t listen to you?
Is it my fault, that I blamed myself too?

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