Here I am sitting at school today, working on a research paper that I am not entirely sure what is being asked of me. My professor told me in an email, “I trust that you can figure it out.” I will figure out.
Earlier today, I was sitting in the Dean’s office discussing an assignment. I had a mini breakdown. Everyone keeps asking me “Are you okay?” after I tell them that “yes, I am unemployed…still unemployed.” I wrote about how thankful I was for this part-time job earlier. However, after the employer decided to move further away from London ON, I grew a little more insecure about this situation because of the distance. I was falling behind in school and my grades were suffering. So when my then-employer told me that they needed someone there more than I could be there, I was more than relieved when he said he needed to look for someone else.
The moment I was let go, I walked into my apartment and I called my mom. She knew that I was meeting with my employer and wanted to know how it went. When she picked up the phone, all she could say was, “well, you sound relieved.” I was relieved. I know that in this day and age, some people would tell me that I should have dealt with the distance to travel. Unfortunately, fallen grades for a part-time job that doesn’t have any prospect of becoming full-time any time soon is just not worth it.
Some people may think I am a bit crazy but I believe that it will lead to bigger and better things. I am hopeful and I am positive. When I think about school and finals, I now realize that I can focus on finishing off this semester strong. Maybe, I might just reach my goal of making the Dean’s list or maybe not. Yet, I do know that I tried my best. With my job, I know that I tried my best. It just wasn’t a good fit anymore.
I can focus now on the things that I want to focus on like the Women’s rep position for the Aboriginal People’s Commission, and writing those proposals for speaking at conferences (and working hard on making my dream come true to become a public speaker/presenter). I can focus on creating more art. I mean, those things don’t all pay the bills but I know that things will work out in the end. As stated earlier, I am hopeful and positive. Worse things have happened, and this is just minor. I can make things happen for me, and in agreement with my professor, I know I can figure this out.
From the words of Pablo Picasso, “Everything you can imagine is real.”