“Wow!” is the only word I have to say in response to my past experiences in the last little while!

I had the opportunity to attend the Assembly of First Nations Annual General Assembly. This was my first time attending this event and I had a lot of fun! I was able to attend because it happened this time in Toronto (which is close to where I am currently living). I also had the chance to participate in my first Liberal.ca/live webcast! It was a lot of fun!

I had the opportunity to interview Sheila Isaac of the Indigenous Women in Community Leadership program of the Coady Institution and one of her graduates of the program; Bridget Tolley (pictured with me below), one of the co-founders of Families of Sisters in Spirit (who is amazing by the way); Tammy Martin, the executive assistant to the VP of education at Indspire, formerly known as National Aboriginal Achievement Foundation; and Jeannette Corbiere-Lavell, the president of the Native Women’s Association of Canada. It was really awesome to be able to interview all these strong, inspirational women while also being at an event that also had several strong, inspirational women running for the position of National Chief! There was such a positive vibe at these event!

I also had the opportunity to meet many amazing people, and had a few people come up to me to introduce themselves to me since they knew me from twitter (Don’t you just love twitter for that!). Some of the amazing people that were also there were Dr. Carolyn Bennett, our Liberal Aboriginal Critic, Dr. Kristy Duncan, our Liberal Environmental Critic, the fellow from EHL Homes who helped deliver homes to Attawapiskat, Cindy Blackstock, First Nations Child and Youth Advocate, and many many more! There were so many people who stopped by to find out more information, and to share their stories!

One particular story or interview that I enjoyed hearing was Alvin Powell’s interview. I was sitting in the back behind the curtain when he was on live. However, I could hear him telling his story and what he is up to now. I decided to approach him after hearing what he had to say on drug use. We talked a bit about our past and it was really nice to meet someone who shared similar experiences. I had to take a picture with him because he was sooooo tall, and he also used to play for the Miami Dolphins and Seattle Seahawks! For the record, I am about 5’9.

What the most exciting thing was being able to share a little bit about the APC to other Indigenous women who were interested in participating with the commission. That was really awesome especially since I am the VP-women’s rep. To be able to share my experiences and to get them excited about wanting to learn more about the LPC and the APC was super rewarding!

In the end, I had a really good time and I hope that I can make it again for future AGAs. The people that made the webcast and the booth happen: I just want to say thanks for everything and all the help/teamwork that everyone put forth! I have met a definite group of nice, young, ambitious Indigenous peeps that make me proud to be both Indigenous and a Liberal!

For more information on the APC, click HERE.

In society today this is how it goes for most women (still.. today):

1. If you are single, there is something wrong with you.
2. If you are childless, there is something wrong with you
3. If you are single and childless, there is definitely something wrong with you (and you are making it worse by not getting married).
4. If you are not married, there is something wrong with you.
5. If you are married and childless, there is definitely something wrong with you too.

You know what is wrong today? Society. I am happy, single, and childless…not single, unhappy, and helpless.

Here is a draft post that I never published at the time. I am going through my draft posts and deleting the ones I don’t want or editing the ones I would like to publish on http://www.kwetoday.com … one day. Here is this particular post’s ‘one day.’

I am watching The Help today. I always like to rent movies whenever I’m feeling blue especially movies about real life. None of those fluffy, lovey-dovey movies. This movie reminds me of lady I met while on the greyhound coming back from Toronto. She asked me for help with trying to get to an address by bus. I was able to help her and get her to the correct bus stop. I told her she had to make a transfer too. During the rest of the bus ride, she shared a bit of her story.

She said she was working for a family, taking care of an older lady, and she continued to say “the father and son are doctors here in London.” I asked her how come she was taking the bus…the city bus to her destination. She said because that’s what they can reimburse me for. I asked her what did they reimburse her? She said, “Half the bus ticket.” That’s a whole $1.38. All I could do was shake my head. A family with two doctors couldn’t afford to pay for a cab fare her destination. It was also snowing out that night. Wet snow. We almost didn’t make it out of Toronto and back in London in time. So it was dark out.

The lady said she wanted to go back to school. She also said her family would pay for her to go back to school.

I always wonder if that really happened.

Well it’s been a while since my last blog post and a lot has been going on in my life. Some great things and not so great things.

Not so great things? I haven’t been able to go to the gym as much as I would like to. I need to change that. I can feel it in my body and mental state that it is affecting me. I feel depressed when I don’t eat healthy or exercise as much. So I just need to change that and commit to it. I started to make a “goal-setting” book. In it, I have cut outs from magazines of healthy recipes and tips for eating healthy. I just started it so hopefully it will be something that reminds me. The thing that really gets in my way is that I don’t have a set schedule anymore (like while I am in school or doing a regular job).

This leads me into the great things! I had the opportunity to sit down with someone I look up to and admire (including the work that her organization does). That person is Jessica Danforth! She is pretty amazing and does a lot of amazing work with Indigenous youth and women. Her organization is the Native Youth Sexual Health Organization and I did a little bit of transcribing for one of her projects with Metis Women/Youth. I don’t know much about Metis culture/practices but I did learn a lot about sexual health and environmental/land justice. So it definitely was something that I enjoyed doing for them.

Then during last month, I had the opportunity to put on a 2 day workshop on fighting stigma in the post-secondary classroom on campus! This project was funded by the Native Youth Sexual Health Network and Girls Action Foundation (big thanks to both organizations). This project was really fun and something that I enjoyed doing. I had an event planning business in high school that won 2 awards (one regional and one national). My experience in planning events really helped with this project. During the first day, the power went out in the main building! I thought “Oh, no! Of all things that had to happen, this just occurred!” I panicked a bit but the participants and speakers were both really awesome–they helped move the workshop outside and we had a little picnic under the sun. One of the speakers, Amanda Aikens, sang and drummed for the participants which was really beautiful. Then by the afternoon, when are our room was ready, we all moved inside for more food, and games with another awesome speaker–Cortney Aikens! She spoke on LGTB2QQIAA issues. What was really cool about this workshop is that I geared it toward undergraduate students on campus but a graduate student and several non-students also attended! There were lots of stories shared and great discussions that happened.  The second and last day went by with a breeze and less impromptu events! The speaker, Andrew Judge, was really awesome! He had shared some great stories and pictures with us. It was really an honor to have all 3 speakers there and the awesomeness of the participants.

In addition to all of this, I am going to an interview for the board-member position at Dale Brain Injury Association tomorrow! I am able to receive this opportunity because of a pretty-rad organization here in London ON called “Emerging Leaders.” This organization held an event back (I think) in April where the Emerging Leader members could meet other board members from other organizations here in London. I was super excited that Dale Brain Injury Association was there because I am a brain injury survivor myself. Today, I still volunteer with the Ontario Brain Injury Association (I have been volunteering on and off with this organization a year after my accident–which is almost 10 years now)!

I have also been able to attend some events in Toronto for the Aboriginal Peoples Commission and will be looking forward to the coming month with them! I will also be attending my first Assembly of First Nations Annual General Assembly! I am super excited for all the things that have happened or has been happening in my life since school is now over. Come to think of it all, I don’t think I would have been able to do all this awesome stuff if I didn’t lose my job 😉

I am hoping to be blogging more especially about recent news articles and the upcoming events!

Here it is!

I had the opportunity to gain some funding to start a community action to empower Indigenous women. Thanks to Native Youth Sexual Health Network and Girls Action Foundation! I almost didn’t apply because I didn’t think I would be able to do it but I applied anyways. What have I got to lose? Nothing!

You can view the poster by clicking on the image below:

A bit of background as to why I thought of this:

I attended an earlier workshop who addressed stigma with another group. A lot of what I learned in this workshop could definitely be transfered to other areas in life or other topics up for discussion, like Indigenous issues. I included LGBTQ2 because before settlers arrived, Indigenous nations valued 2-spirit people and held them with high regard. However, today, they still face stigma!

In my first year of university, I was a bit overwhelmed on a few significant occasions. So much so, that I had to leave the classroom. Some of the things I would hear from students were:

“We need to stop giving the chiefs handouts and start giving them handups“ I have no idea what this means but the discussion that followed it was not all that warming.

“Aboriginal people face high poverty rates because they do not have the same mental capacities as other races” This was in an online classroom and I had no idea what to think.

“It’s funny how people with unrelated degrees can get jobs in unrelated fields” This was said in my presence after being hired on a health research team as an Aboriginal cultural consultant and I did not have a health-related degree.

The above are just a few examples and I know I am not alone as a student. I thought to create this safespace/empowering workshop environment so that other students can meet, share their stories, learn skill sets/gain experience, and discover that we can all support each other in our educational pursuits!

If you are interested in attended, please do not hesitate to contact me! Any questions/comments/concerns, please email me (nls@kwetoday.com), comment below, or follow instructions on poster!

Looking forward to this opportunity!

Do you cry?
Do you feel sad?
Do you get angry some days?
Do you feel annoyed with others?
Do you feel shy in a room of crowded people?
If you have any of the symptoms above, then you might be NORMAL!

I just recently read an article titled “Is Anybody Normal Anymore?” And I could relate to this article not because I had any of the mental health disorders listed but because I feel the same way about the DSM.

The DSM is a diagnostic tool that is used by psychiatrists or mental health specialists to treat so called “mental health disorders.” There is a lot of criticism, which is talked about in the article itself, on this diagnostic tool. Some of the criticism is that it includes normal reactions to life events or that it includes false-positives (mean potentially diagnosing someone as sick who may in fact be healthy). In fact, the DSM has been altered since its initial creation that homosexuality has been removed (which is GOOD!) and currently, the LGBT2Q community has been advocating for gender identity reform. 

When I was 15 years old, I was diagnosed with depression. I was forced to go on Zoloft which was not supposed to be administered to anyone under the age of 18. If I didn’t take it, the hospital team said that they would call CAS (Children’s Aid Society) on me and I would be taken away from my family. I don’t know what happened but not long after taking it, I was in a car accident. I don’t know what happened but immediately after the accident I was not on Zoloft anymore.

Then when I was 18, I was beginning to take a group of drugs that were frequently called “PAM family drugs.” For example, lorazepam, and any other drug that ended in PAM. These were used for my anxiety which sort of did help. The only downside? They were highly addictive. I don’t know if I ever got addicted to them but I take them only sporadically now. At this same time, I wasn’t diagnosed with depression anymore.

Again when I was 22, I saw another psychiatrist (one of about 8 in my entire life). He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. Before that, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And before that, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. And before that, anxiety disorder. I was on ativan (lorazepam), valporic acid, seroquel, various sleeping pills.

I just never felt right being on the medication I was on. Seroquel made me feel like I just took a tab of ecstasy. Valporic acid made me feel like a zombie, and wasn’t even supposed to be used for the diagnosis I had! It is a very powerful drug for epileptics. Ativan made me feel drowsy for more than 24 hours.

So what did I stop/start doing? I stop taking all these drugs, and I started eating healthy and going to the gym. I kept myself busy. If I wasn’t busy, I would start thinking about bad things again-things that made me depressed or stressed out which would later cause my anxiety. I cut back on drinking too (if you think you have mental health issues or a mental health disorder, limiting your alcohol intake helps tremendously–but I do know that for some it is more of a self-medication… I did that once too). Also, I started journaling and reflecting on my own thoughts, actions, or behaviours.  I just overall feel better about myself. I do have bad days but I know that those bad days will past. It’s not the end of the world. The plus side? I don’t really take drugs anymore (of any kind). I also lost 20 lbs. So, people who I haven’t seen in a long time tell me how great I look which makes me feel great! There have been days where I thought about suicide here and there but I know that it is not worth it. I have worked too hard to get where I am, and have too much to leave behind. I know that people will miss me and that I won’t be able to make memories with them.

Do I believe that mental health disorders don’t exist or that the DSM isn’t helpful? No. I do believe that some people need additional help like with medications. The DSM provides a guideline for some mental health professionals but it should not be relied on in its entirety. My own personal examples above are a perfect example of how I was constantly being tossed around from psychiatrist to psychiatrist to only receive a new diagnosis and a new drug that wasn’t even made for the use it is originally prescribed for.

Just some things that are considered normal are now being treated as abnormal. We shouldn’t be just complicit in our demise as loving, caring, full of emotion human beings. It is okay to cry. It is okay to get angry. It is okay to feel sad. It is okay to feel overwhelmed in a crowded room. And it is most certainly okay to be annoyed with people… because some people can just straight up be annoying!

Today is May Day and to tell you the truth I don’t really know much about it. I couldn’t really find a site that explained it plainly. It is also International Workers’ Day today as well. I didn’t know that until today either.

There is a lot of what I don’t know. What’s troubling to me is that I thought I genuinely cared about people and wanted to work towards equality for everyone. Unfortunately, in that same breathe, I was committing the very thing that I now despise: trying to save people and trying to protect others.

It didn’t happen over night that I grew to despise this. It probably started in my last relationship (which has been over since 2009 so I harbor no hard feelings when I write this). However, I will premise with this: he WAS and IS a great guy. Now, the then-relationship just wasn’t a good fit….for me. I had these feelings that he only wanted to be around when *bad* things happen in order to *save me* or *protect me*. Yet, I didn’t want to be saved. I didn’t want to be protected. Especially when only bad things happened to me. I wanted support and love to be there when GOOD things happened to me too! People need support and love when they feel that there is good in their life, because what good is life when you can’t share the moments of happiness with another person? Exactly. It would be very boring.

I was going over a few old emails not too long ago and I noticed one that I had written about and it was the first time I had shared with someone about my sex work experience. I write in detail on another blog post HERE about those experiences in a different light. When I was reading over this initial email, I kind of felt disgusted with myself. I was the person I very much despise: trying to save and trying to protect. But protect from what and protect from who? Exactly. There was so much I didn’t know about the world of sex work.

Up until January 2012, I was always told that the reason all the bad things happened in my life was because of sex work. Even all the things that happened in my life BEFORE sex work was why I got into sex work. As mentioned before, up until January 2012, I didn’t know that there was this whole other side of world when it comes to sex work. I met a wonderful group of individuals at Maggies Toronto. I felt kind of out of place too but for reasons that others might not suspect. I felt out of place because I was at one point the individuals/institutions/organizations and the attitudes those individuals/institutions/organizations had, wherein we were trying to  address them as a group. By the end of the 2-day experience, I felt liberated. For my entire life, up until that point, I was the very person I hate and I was constantly being told that sex work was the problem. Sex work wasn’t and isn’t the problem.

The problem is the attitudes that other people, institutions, organizations have towards sex workers.

Today, I don’t see how those two can be connected. I never felt like they were connected or related. Every time I met with a counsellor to discuss my feelings or what was going on in my life, I just never felt like there was connection with them. They would always blame sex work, and they would always say “you are the victim.” And maybe that is true in some sense but the reasons for getting raped is not because of sex work. And the reason for being in an abusive relationship is not because of sex work. Just to name a couple things that past counselors have blamed on sex work. I also love my current counsellor that I hate today because she gets this. She understands! I write about her HERE. I knew she got it the very moment when I told her that the reason I was worried about getting back into sex work after I lost my job was not because of sex work itself, but rather the people that I might lose–some of the people I love in my life. Again.

So when did I start caring so much that I had to become the person I hate? Because I thought I was doing the right thing. I was wrong. If you are going to help people, in no matter what type of capacity, you are going to have to let those individuals get the help they want and on their own terms.

Anyways, good news: I got a job offer and have really good marks to end this year off right! So I am happy with my outcome at the end of the year, even after losing my job. I am most certainly happy with all the wonderful, strong, confident, beautiful people that I have met this past semester. Especially the ones I met who taught me to remember to stop caring about what others think (something my momma always told me and my sisters to do!)

Today I posted on my tumblr account earlier that I was going to write a blog post about another lovely year-end university experience.

It was kind of similar to last year except … worse.

I had an interview last week for a position with Ethnocultural Support Services aka ESS (a position I had no idea was there until someone told me “hey you should apply to that!”) So, I applied to it. No biggie. Part of the application process was to tell them why you are best fit for the position, why you want to fill the position and what type of improvements would you make to the position.

The position was for First Nations Liaison.

Last year, I wrote about my experience in applying to a non-First Nations student position, and how I felt like I was being typed after the person recommended I apply to a First Nations specific position within the University Students Council. You can read that post HERE.

Here is the specific email response last year:

Sorry it took a few days for me to get back to you. Should you ever have any questions at all about how to get involved with Campus Issues, or about applications next year, I am more than happy to meet with you on any occasion. 


 Also, I would reccomend you look at the executive application for Director of First Nations Students. I know you are very passionate in this area and I think it would be a great fit for you. The application can be found on the USC website

I didn’t apply to the position because I wasn’t interested in applying to it. Guess I should have applied!

Now with the most recent experience, it was worse off because not only did I NOT get the position, they also asked in that same email, if I could implement my idea in the coming school year OUTSIDE the realm of the position.

That email went something like this:

First of all thank you so much for your interest in the position for First Nations Liaison. There is a lot of work needed in that area, and it has been neglected for too long. This year we had a high level of interest for ESS executive positions as compared to last year. ESS is growing and hopefully will be even bigger next year. Also I want to thank you for coming in to do an interview, we had some great dialogue,

With that being sad, I cannot offer you a position on ESS this year. Your interview was amazing and so was your application. I would love to work with you on getting a couple of the workshops that you offer available to all students. I hope this does not discourage you from your interest in helping the indigenous community. I am always looking for individuals who are willing to help, and who are passionate.


I hope you have a great summer, and can’t wait to see you in the new school year.

While in this most recent interview, there were several red flags that I was unsure how to interpret. The first one was that one of the interviewers was late and then proceeded to ask me questions that I already answered (had she been there on time, I would not have to repeat myself). This is interesting because it left me feeling with the hunch that whoever is filling the position was already picked. Another contributing factor those feelings was that this interview was almost scheduled on the fly… meaning I got an email and there was a sense of urgency to get it done and out of the way. It all sounded fishy to me. After talking it over with my mom about these feelings, she blatantly stated, “I wonder if these interviews are just there to appear to be democratic but in reality don’t really serve a purpose because they already picked someone.” It could very well be considering the interviewer had a sense of urgency in getting these interviews done with and that the other interviewer was late.

What is the problem with that you ask? Well, their complete disregard for professionalism.

While in the interview, I also grew weary of my involvement with this particular group. The one interviewer (who was late) asked what my thoughts were on last year’s USC decision to remove the First Nations commissioner position. All I could think of was, WTF! This question sounds more political than trying to find out what my relevant skills/qualifications in filling the position would be. I answered it and I answered it truthfully. To sum it up, there was a HUGE lack of consultation with respect to this decision, and anyone on campus would agree with me whether they wanted to keep it or not. I could also tell that there was huge lack of consultation on these two new positions that they put in. One position works with in a policy/external capacity and another works with ESS. Both positions make reference to and only to First Nations students; thereby excluding Metis and Innu students. Exactly.

Both of these positions are supposedly for better representation for Indigenous students?! Clearly whoever made those positions didn’t have their thinking cap on.

Being my nice self, I gave these guys the benefit of the doubt. However, after being denied the position (which I am ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY 100% fine with) but then in the same email being asked if my proposal can be implemented in the coming school year outside the realm of the position, I thought FUCK YOU! 


Yes. There I said it. That is what I originally wanted to write but I didn’t.

This is what I replied with:

Thanks for the email and for allowing me the opportunity to sit down with and **********. 

I am sure the person that you have chosen is very well capable and just as enthusiastic in being a part of ESS. With that being said, I am sure that they are capable enough to have their own proposal(s)/ideas implemented, and I don’t wish to work with you to offer my workshops to other students. I have other means and avenues to implement these workshops. Alas, your decision will not affect my involvement with the Indigenous community.


Some of you might think that this post is unprofessional and that it is probably best I don’t get the position. Maybe not. Yet,  if there is one thing that I can remember being told it is this…

If you are going to want to see change and if you are going to want to get things done, you are just going to have to do it…with or without the everyone else! 

So, I am going to continue to get things done and I will work hard to see change because at the end of next month, I will be implementing my proposal (because I already received the funding to get it implemented and also will be working directly with Indigenous services)!

So, the interviewer was right in the email denying my qualification for the position: THIS won’t discourage my interest in helping the Indigenous community…

IT’S GOING TO FUEL IT!

So what does this mean for other Indigenous students? Don’t ever ever ever and I mean EVER get discouraged! If someone tells you that you didn’t get a position or that you are unable to fill a certain role, don’t let that stop you in making the change that you want to see happen! Change doesn’t happen when you just give up because someone tells you “Sorry, but you didn’t make the cut.” As an Indigenous student to other Indigenous students, I will close with this…

Our experiences, whether they are collective, shared, or individual experiences, skills and knowledge, whether experiential or professional, are EXTREMELY INVALUABLE! Some people get paid BIG BUCKS to distribute/implement/consult on the information/knowledge/experience that some of you have! If you want to be valued as a student who has unique experiences a part from the rest–acknowledged this and don’t ever settle for less than what you BELIEVE you are worth!

In addition to the above, there are usually other groups on either my campus or your campus that are involved with Indigenous issues directly OR indirectly. For instance, on my campus, we have the First Nations Student Association which does AWESOME work and has EVEN AWESOME-R events on campus. There is also v-day which deals with violence against women (which is a huge issue for Indigenous women) and there are also political groups (where 2 of the parties in Canada have 2 Aboriginal People’s Commissions–like the Liberal Party of Canada). There are MANY MANY MANY ways to get involved. Just don’t let one or even two emails rain on your parade ❤

Well today I just finished writing the most brutal exam ever! Social psychology. Professor was great though! If I ever get a chance to have him for a lecture course again, I will most definitely try.

Any whooooo… I have some exciting news! I have an interview tomorrow for First Nations Liaison with the Ethnocultural Support Services. I am kind of nervous (as usual) but will see how it goes tomorrow!

You can check out more on Ethnocultural Support Services HERE.

In other news, I am also developing and coordinating a 2 day empowerment workshop for young Indigenous women! How amazing is that!

I applied to Girls Action Foundation Community Action a while back. I actually hesitated about applying to this on multiple occasions but decided “what they heck have I got to lose?” Nothing! So, within a week (I think or might have been longer…been a while), I got an email saying that my community action has been chosen. I am really excited for this because I love to give back to my community, and the London and Western community has been good to me! Can’t give any enough thanks to both Girls Action Foundation and Native Youth Sexual Health Network! Two rockin’ organizations!

My community action will focus on empowering young Indigenous women (as mentioned before) but also focus on reducing stigma that we as Indigenous women face and also building capacity around opportunities for public education.

If you want to know more about this community action or if you are in London ON this summer and interested in becoming involved or attending, please do email me nls@kwetoday.com. I will be making posters and stuff after my final exam on May 2!

Be ready, this is going to be amazing 😀


Note: community action/work-shop will be geared toward Indigenous women ages 17-25.

This blog post is in response to another blog post I read today, titled Sex Workers – An Invitation to Tell Your Stories.

I decided to tell of my experiences via my blog. I know some people will say “OMG! Why did you do that!” or that I might lose some friends (again) for outing myself. I might also gain some friends. Some people may not come back to read this blog ever because of the supposed “immoralities” that I contribute to in society. I may even never find a job outside of sex work again, and you know what, that’s okay…it’s not the end of the world.


A bit of background: 

As I am writing this, I should be studying for an exam instead (social psychology–focusing on moral development). Fuck morality. Apparently, most adults don’t make it past stage 3 of Kohlberg’s stages of of moral development anyway. Soooo, we are potentially all fucked. Sex or no sex.

Okay, enough of my “morality and moral development” rant.

Currently, I am studying (at the honors level) criminology. I love it! I learn about what people think about deviant behaviours, or what is “morally” right and wrong. I learn about what professionals think of my experiences as a sex worker, and as an Indigenous female. Much of what I learn is one-sided or just straight up wrong.


Why did you get into the sex industry? 

I made the conscious decision to become an escort when I was 18 years old. This was right after I had been looking in the classified section of the local newspaper for a second part-time job. I saw an ad that read “Make thousands and work your own hours” or something like that. At the same time I was reading this paper, I was also in my last year of high school. I moved out when I was seventeen because of problems I kept running into at home. Even as I write this, I know that someone out there will completely miss the following point I am trying make: those personal issues are unrelated to my decision to enter into sex work. And for a long time, everyone around me kept telling me that it was those problems that led me into the sex industry. Today, I honestly believe that there is no correlation between the two: sex work and personal issues (Note: decision to enter sex work is also unrelated to my family relationships too).


Did you freely choose this work? Were you in any way forced or coerced into it? Were you pressured into it by economic or other pressure?

I wanted to focus on my school during my last year. At the time, I was working at least 2 different jobs either during the summer and/or during the school year. That can take a toll on someone even if they are not in school. By the time I graduated high school, I graduated on the honor roll and I also had won several awards. I also was able to focus on what I needed to focus on: getting my volunteer hours done, getting the grades I wanted to, and finishing school on time (after being in a major car accident, I was put back an entire year).

As for being pressured into it, I don’t believe I was pressured into it because I was actively seeking out work, and I found it! I went into escorting with an agency because that is what I found first. I then went into dancing and then back into escorting (on and off). There was no particular reason for going into dancing other than that I needed a job, and I didn’t really want to work for someone else or pay someone else fees for working under their name.


What, if anything, did/do you like about the work? 

I surprisingly liked a lot of things about my work, especially the ability to control my own hours and also the people that I had the opportunity to meet (I’ve met some pretty influential people in all geographic regions that I worked in). I used to be really shy too. I can tell you one thing: I am not shy anymore! I developed communication skills, negotiation skills, the ability to access certain situations on the fly, and the ability to steer situations in a more positive direction! I also liked the protection that some of the bars could provide. I was date-raped by a guy who I did not meet while working. He came into the bar, knowing that I worked there after he did what he did to me, and I was able to get him removed … FOREVER (the sad thing about this is if I went to the police, they would have blamed my choice of work for what happened to me).

What, if anything, did/do you not like about the work? 

The one thing that I didn’t like about my work was that I should have never started working in my hometown. I had people who would out me in public, or also people who would stop by the bar just to see “if it was true that I was dancing.”

On the whole, did/do you like the work, dislike it, or feel neutral about it? 

At the beginning, I liked it. As time went on in working with an agency, I began to dislike working for someone else. I was being told that bigger and better paying clients would come along, and that I could make 2000-5000 in a weekend (I equate this to a non-sex work employer telling their employees that they will get more hours or benefits if they continue to work long and hard…except for shittier pay!).

What are your feelings about your customers? 

When it comes to my experiences with my customers, I worked to develop lasting relationships with them. For the most part, it wasn’t about sex or services to them. For them, it was more about being able to spend time with someone on a more-intimate level (and intimacy can come in many forms—not just sex). There were few bad customers experiences. My madam always had a driver close by if the situation was bad (fortunately, there was never a bad situation). Management in bars would also remove difficult customers or get customers to pay who didn’t want to pay in full.

Have your feelings about the work changed with time? If you no longer work in the sex industry, did your feelings about the work change after you left it? 

When I first started escorting, I felt kind of embarrassed. When I started dancing, I felt embarrassed too. However, when I started my first retail job, I felt embarrassed. I also felt embarrassed trying to sell internet services to people in that states.

Over time, I just grew into the comfort of it more. During the course of my experiences as a sex worker, I had numerous non-sex professionals try to help me to leave the industry. I was influenced a lot by their authority and power over certain aspects of my life (like my doctor or past counselors). I left it for sometime but have met a great group of individuals who are really sex-work positive. Hearing their positive perspectives on sex work and/or sex workers has helped me on a personal level. I no longer feel as if sex work was the problem in my life. I feel empowered!

If you still work in the sex industry, do you feel free to leave it? If you no longer work in the sex industry, did you feel free to leave it? If not, what restraints did/do you have? 

I had the ability to leave the sex industry once I got back into school (but if it wasn’t for sex work I wouldn’t have probably left my hometown, and probably would have never applied to the college and university where I am at now). While still in school, I left it after realizing I was not making the money I initially made at the amount of hours I was working. I quit entirely after being able to find two part-time jobs during the summer months.

Is there anything else you want people to know about your experience of sex work? 

These are my experiences and my experiences only. My past experiences (family, relationships, etc.) are unrelated to my sex work experiences. Shitty people and even shittier management exist in all types of industries (not just sex work). Bad customers emerge in all types of business transactions (not just sex work—sometimes sex workers just have to deal with the realities for it longer and without all the same social supports available to non-sex workers). On one hand, I have lost friends because of my decision to enter sex work. On the other hand, I made many more friends! I had many great experiences and some bad experiences. It’s not like what it is in the movies. There is money to be made but not every day and all day. The thing that makes me angry the most is that there is this image that all sex workers are in need of help and live in dire circumstances. Through my experiences, it led me to new experiences, new friends, and new opportunities! The only thing that I wish I could have done better in my experiences: I wish that I had a mentor or someone that I could turn to without fear of being judged or ridiculed. My madam did sort of serve as a mentor but I felt that I needed someone outside that particular relationship. I also wish there were/are better support systems for people in the sex industry or who previously worked in that industry. Sex work and sex workers’ experience isn’t all black and white. There are many diverse experiences. People who exist outside sex work need to acknowledge all types of experiences!