Residential School Children

Aboriginal, Charlie Hunter, Indian Affairs Minister John Duncan, Powwow, Residential Schools, Toronto Star, TRC, Truth and Reconciliation Commission, University of Western Ontario, UWO Leave a comment

This past weekend I was able to attend my university’s First Nations Student Association’s powwow. This powwow had a great turn out and I was very impressed. I was also able to meet a few people that I am interested in working with or at least volunteering with. At the powwow, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission had a booth set up and I was able to meet the person who works with the Children of Shingwauk Alumni Association. I was very interested in talking with this individual because I had the opportunity to volunteer at the Shingwauk Residential School Reunion. When I volunteered at this event, I had some amazing conversations with Residential school survivors and I also learned a few things from this group of people.

The one thing I learned was this: Keep smiling! When I remember this experience, and even though this group of people were brought together under not-so-great circumstances, they still smiled. I remember seeing them sitting together, eating together, laughing together, and most important still smiling together.

Another thing I learned about this experience is that many of the children who did attend the school and who did die at the school, never received proper burial. This kind of made me upset. As a volunteer, I had a tour of the old residential school which is now a university, Algoma University College. On this tour, we were brought to a secluded area behind the university. There was a trail that led up to this area and specifically into the area which we were going to. We were going to the graves of the priests and nuns. In other words, the graves that did not include the children who died at the school. These graves had big tombstones, fencing around the grave site… clear markers that graves existed there. We were told that many of the children who died at the school either died in the river trying to escape the school or died and were only buried in the front of the school. The front of the school was just a big green yard, with obviously no grave markings.

I talk about this experience because when I visited the Truth and Reconciliation Commission website, I saw an article that spoke about an Aboriginal youth, whose name is Charlie Hunter, that died while at a different residential school and his parents were not notified of their child’s burial. Additionally, Charlie’s burial happened outside Charlie’s home community–his parents could not give a proper burial and could not visit his burial site. As the article says,

For years, their family has unsuccessfully pressed the federal government to have Charlie’s body brought home so that they can visit his grave and talk with his spirit.

The burial of a body is a very sacred ceremony for Aboriginal people and it can be agreed upon for any group of people that funerals help with the grieving process. This process is an important part of healing for anyone, whether Aboriginal or not. If you would like to read the entire Toronto Star article, you can read the complete article HERE.

When reading this article, it made me upset with how the Indian Affairs Minister responded to this situation. Mr. John Duncan simply said in a letter,

He feels badly for them but cannot help…

Fortunately, another part of this story is that there is another couple, the Wilsons, amongst others. The Wilsons helped out Charlie’s parents by donating $5,000 to help bring Charlie Hunter home. A trust fund was also set up. The estimated cost to bring Charlie home is estimated to be at $21,500. Throughout the story, there are individuals who are touched by this story and who are willing to help bring Charlie home. This literally brought tears to my eyes. I thought, if only we could bring all children home to their parents.

Early Poetry….

Aboriginal, Education, London ON, Poetry Leave a comment

So tonight I was going through some old poems I had written when I was younger… like 16-18 years. I started to actually write my poems and saving them when I had moved away from my home town (However, I do know there are stacks of books and papers from much earlier poems that I had written when I was kid, in my house I grew up in back on my First Nation).

This is one of the poems I had written almost right after my car accident. I was 15 years old. I can’t find the paper version of it, but when I first moved to London I spent a great deal of time converting the poems that I could find that I had written on paper and trying to find a computer so that I could save them. I always used the library’s computer or the few people I managed to meet–their computers. I did this because when I first moved to London, I wanted to save my writings. (I didn’t want people who I hung around with to read them or find them–I think I would have been embarrassed if anyone read them then… Maybe because I lacked confidence/self-esteem). I moved here knowing nobody, no friends, no family. I couldn’t call home until a month after I arrived–when I started to meet people. You’re probably asking yourself, why didn’t I used a pay phone? When I moved away from home, I felt lost. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. I didn’t even know where I was going to live, which city even… I was literally lost, physically & spiritually….

I spent 9 months without a mailing address or a way for my family to call me to check up on me. I had to call them, make sure to let them know that I was still alive. So, school pretty much saved me. If it weren’t for school, I don’t know where I would be right now–I guess that’s why it really bothers me when people say “Aboriginals get everything for free…” or that “Aboriginals have it best…” or that “Aboriginals shouldn’t get money for education…” Like I said earlier, if it weren’t for school or education, I don’t know where I would be.

As I said before, this is one the earlier poems. I can’t remember why I wrote it, or what I was feeling. Some of my poems from my teen years is pretty dark… it freaks me out even that I could even think to write some of the things I had written. Fortunately for me, I now use writing as an outlet. I realize that I love to write, and that writing has given me the confidence to convey my thoughts (especially after my car accident and my acquired brain injury).

This poem… I left it untitled, and I am not sure why. I would have liked to call it “This poem is me…”, but this poem is not who I am anymore. Maybe it was me then, but it is not me anymore…


This poem is me,
As crazy as it may seem.
Come close,
Come see;
The little girl,
Running around,
So care free.
The little girl,
So neat and clean.
Come see;
As crazy as it may seem
The little girl,
Who cries herself to sleep.

My experiences at The University of Western Ontario

Aboriginal youth, Aboriginals, Ignorance, Racism, Suicide, The Gazette, University of Western Ontario, UWO View all 2 comments

Note: Please keep in mind the nature of this blog…Experiences of an Aboriginal Female in Canadian Society. I write from my point of view, and I still realize that there are other groups that still face troubles. I do not make an effort to say that I have it worse off or that I deserve better treatment. I just write about my experiences.

First, my experiences at The University of Western Ontario have been great. I have been involved and wanting to be even more involved. I have met great people, both Aboriginal and Non-Aboriginal. I have met some great people who are/were on Social Science Students Council. I met some great friends in class. I also met some great people through volunteering at various events and with various committees around the school. These experiences and these people, along with the understanding and supportive professors, are what make my UWO experience enjoyable.

Second, below is an article that was sent to me by another student at UWO. This article made me sick to my stomach. This article reminded me of this one incident class. In this incident in class, we were talking about Human Rights and if we should be concerned about Human Rights or lack thereof in other countries, those outside of North America. This made my stomach turn because of what some of my peers were saying. I then raised my hand and I asked the class:

Why do we care about Human Rights issues/violations in other countries when we have Human Rights violations here in Canada? Like that of lack of clean water, or education not available to everyone.

I paid special attention to make sure this discussion in class did not go into the direction I was afraid it might go into: First Nations issues. I made sure that I never mentioned First Nations, Aboriginal, or Indians or any reference to this group. I did this because the issues that surround First Nations are complex. Nevertheless, the discussion went from Human Rights in Canada, to clean water, to First Nations. Someone responded to my question or concern with this statement:

….We should not be giving the Chiefs hand outs….

My stomach literally turned over in class. I wanted to respond but I knew if I were to respond, the “right” thing would not come out. I didn’t respond to that comment. What I did I wish I had said was this: That Chiefs of each First Nation don’t get the “money” directly. The money actually goes through layers of organizations before it ever reaches the citizens of Canada that actually need it: the members of First Nations (excluding Chief and councils).

I did not say that. I wish I did. Rather, I just say there in my seat, quiet, anxious, wanting to bolt. After class was let out, I cried. I didn’t know how to handle this. I was angry. If it weren’t for Indigenous Services and the people there that day, I don’t know what would have happened? A panic attack? I don’t know I can’t predict what would have or could have happened and I don’t think I want to now.

When I read this article that was forwarded to me, the same feelings went through me. These feelings existed because literally the same thing was being read, when it was said in class, but this was written AND published in the school newspaper. Here is the article:

UWO Gazette Article Dated November 2005UWO article. To see the direct link to this article click Here.

I know everyone has a right to their own opinion. I do not deny anyone’s opinion in any situation. However, it amazes me that some people who attend such a well-known university, can actually be thought of as “higher learners” when things like this are said. I know these statements are filled with ignorance, in other words lack of education. So what is the solution? I am not sure. I do know that the Truth and Reconciliation Commission suggests putting the REAL Canadian history in school curriculums.

I emphasize this: Not all Aboriginals choose to live and stay on reserve–if they do want to leave some of them don’t even have the resources to leave. Like I said before, the issues that surround First Nations people, are very complex.

But to read this article dated 2005, and to be in class in 2011, there seems to be no change in thought from two very different students. The only thing that alarms me is that, one opinion was actually published! That is what concerns me most.

It makes you wonder why and where people get the idea that Aboriginals get everything for free or that we have it better off, or that we can just get up and leave our reserves (reserves that were created in an effort to “get rid of the Native problem”).

Finally, here are some present statistics about the current state of Aboriginals in Canada:

  • 2010: Infant mortality rate amongst Canadians 5.3 live births per 1000 versus 19 live births per 1000 amongst Aboriginals
  • Number 1 cause of death of Aboriginals between ages 1 and 44: Suicide
  • Suicide rate amongst Aboriginal youth is 5 to 6 times higher
  • 98% of residential school survivors have a mental illness
  • Rates of suicide in Aboriginal communities where no protective factors (Control over land/Band controlled schools/Cultural facilities/Control over health care, fire, police) are present: 137.5 per 100,000 (where the national average is 14 per 100,000)

These statistics are not from the 1960s or the 1970s. These numbers are from 2009 onwards.

It makes you wonder why this group experiences these situations at a much higher rate when compared to the rest of a country, a country that is supposed to be credited with its level of equality, human rights, justice…. Well, it may not make you wonder but it makes me wonder. To read a different viewpoint on this issue of Aboriginals, check out my post titled, It’s Not All About You.

In the end, I hope that one day people can stop making ignorant statements against Aboriginals, and other marginalized groups as well. I plan to work towards this equality and educating non-Aboriginals about situations that Aboriginals still face today in present-day Canada.

One day.

You can read other posts I have written about Aboriginal youth, Suicide amongst Aboriginals, and another post concerning The Gazette by clicking on the tags below.

Childhood Memories

Childhood, Childhood memories View all 2 comments

Decided to do a late night post… called Childhood memories. These are some of my memories from childhood, some funny, some not…

  1. My nickname was “Animal” from the muppets (Don’t ask me why because I am not completely sure)
  2. I was also called “Legs” … (Thanks to my 36 inch inseam…30 when I was 13, 32 when I was 15, 34 when I was 16-17… I only remember because I spent hours looking for the jeans that fit!)
  3. I did some modeling.
  4. I did some ballet.
  5. I did some boxing.
  6. I did some archery.
  7. I was a rainbow for halloween once, also an Ace of Hearts, a clown, a witch, Jason (the killer I think … never watched those movies)…
  8. I once made my little sister cry by singing her a song. When my mom told me to stop making my sister cry, I told her that I was just singing a song. She didn’t believe me.
  9. I once tripped over a garden hose, and I ended up having to get 3 stitches.
  10. I nearly strangled myself riding my bike around our yard, after running into the string swings me and my sisters had left hanging from the tree branches. My dad made us cut the string swings down right after that.
  11. I did a grade 3 oral speech on seals. When it was my turn, I was so nervous I had to ask to be excused. I had to pee. The entire gym waited for me to return and begin my speech.
  12. I was hit by a car. Don’t remember it. The car or the accident.
  13. I once debated with a grade 4 teacher about Jesus, when I was in grade 5.
  14. I used to figure skate and was in a competition. I forgot my dance routine as soon as my music started, and made up the entire routine as the song went on. Needless to say, I didn’t place, but my coach still said I did a good job. (That’s a good coach)
  15. I was once voted “Most Artistic”
  16. I was once voted “Most likely to get rich”

Indians vs Natives vs Aboriginals vs First Nations

Aboriginals, American Indian, AP style, First Nations, Indians, Natives Leave a comment

Question on how to refer to "Aboriginals"A message I received on twitter.

I replied that it depends on what you are writing about and what you are referring to (To me it doesn’t matter, what does matter is the context ie-racially motivated use of the word “Indian” will be hurtful but if someone just misuses it…don’t cause an uproar over it). I know this explanation sounds kind of confusing but let me elaborate a bit more.

If you are writing about an organization that refers to Aboriginals as First Nations people, use the term First Nations peoples. If you are writing about Aboriginals and are referring to a bunch of organizations and each of your sources use different terms, pick the one that is most used out of the sources (say one source uses Aboriginal, one uses Indian, and four use First Nations… use First Nations).

However, sometimes the context in which these are used sometimes matters too. If someone is referring to Indians in a racially motivated context (ie-racism, stereotyping), then the use of the term Indian should be avoided when you are talking about this context/term/group of people. In a historical, social, and political context as well, avoid the use of the term Indian.

So, you should avoid using Indian at all (in my opinion). My preference is: doesn’t matter, just as long as you are not being hurtful or spiteful towards me. I refer to myself as Native, Three-Fires, Aboriginal…. but it doesn’t matter. Like I said in my profile attached to this blog,

Note to readers: I use the terms, Aboriginal, Native, First Nations, Indian, interchangeably. I am not bothered by either one. If you are bothered by any one of these words and you belong to this “ethnic group”, you are forewarned. This is just writings about my experiences as a young First Nations Female, and not meant to marginalize this group any further. Additionally, this is not a blog reflective of my personality or character, just my experiences as a young Aboriginal Female in Canadian Society.

Update: if you are going to write about a specific group of Aboriginals, like Ojibwe or Cree, refer to those groups as they wish to be referred to as (not sure or can’t ask around, use the terms they use in your sources).

Suicide

Aboriginal youth, Suicide One comment

A conversation I had with my counselor.

Me: I want the pain to go away.
Counselor: What do mean?
Me: I would like it all to go away.
Counselor: On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want the pain to go away?
Me: 10.
Counselor: How would you make that happen?
Me: I would take lots of pills.
Counselor: What kind of pills do you have at home.
Me: I only have advil, but I know that won’t work.
Counselor: That is sad you know that won’t work.

That is sad… that I know what works and what doesn’t when it comes to suicide.

This is a conversation I had with my counselor. I was talking about suicide. A girl said to me once: I am jealous how much you smile…. If she only knew, how much I want the pain to go away…sometimes. To smile, is to just make the pain go away. For a second.

Note to reader: I don’t write this because I want people to feel sorry for me. That is the last thing I want. I write this because I just want to be open and honest. This is what I struggle with. Pain. I know everyone has their own battles. I am not trying to say: “boo hoo look at me and my problems” or “boo hoo I have bigger problems than you.” I know some people have it worse more than me. I am just writing about what I deal with and what a lot of Aboriginal youth deal with….

Canadian Government & Indian Smokes

Aboriginals, Canadian Government, contraband cigarettes, Drug trafficking, First Nations, Indian Smokes, The Gazette, University of Western Ontario Leave a comment
Canada Government Advertisement
Canadian Government ad

These two above pictures are from an advertisement from a newspaper.

It advertises that you should not by “Contraband Cigarettes” because it will fuel other activities, like trafficking of drugs. Looking at the advertisement and the cigarettes in the picture, it looks like to me a big, giant bag of Indian Smokes. The issue with that is non-First Nations members are going to the First Nations and buying the smokes. I know, there should be some sort of type of filtering in place. There usually is: show your status card and you can buy the smokes. Doesn’t always happen like that.

Read this Globe and Mail article titled Illegal Smokes Hit All-Time High.

The main source for illegal smokes: Natives.

The suggestion: Outlaw all the materials that it takes to make illegal smokes (well, I am sure with some exception).

However, as an Aboriginal, tobacco is widely used at traditional ceremonies. Sometimes the attendance at these ceremonies is in the 100s. I don’t know the extent of this suggestion or if any bills were put in place to help counter the sales of contraband cigarettes. But suggestions like the one above does not take into account that Aboriginal culture still uses tobacco. No, there is no such thing as a peace pipe (That was purely made up for Hollywood Movies. Check out my post titled Documentary: Reel Injun for other facts about Aboriginals and Hollywood). No we don’t just sit around a fire and smoke tobacco all day. The tobacco in the Aboriginal culture is very sacred and is used in various settings. Yes, it can be smoked, but it is not always smoked. Sometimes it is just passed on from one person to another as a form of gratitude.

Tobacco in the Aboriginal culture is very sacred.

I think when people begin to associate “Indian Smokes” with Aboriginals, it takes away from this sacredness. But don’t let the misconceptions fool you. We still use it for ceremonial purposes. Not every Aboriginal smokes tobacco either. I am Aboriginal, and I use tobacco but do not smoke it.

Anyways back to the advertisements, I am not impressed. I am not impressed because in the advertisement it says:

“Do Not Buy Contraband Cigarettes….it fuels criminal activity, such as the trafficking of drugs…”

Thanks Canadian Government, once again. I thought you were trying to improve your relationships with Aboriginals. This ad is a step backwards because it associates contraband smokes, the abundant of them found on First Nations (as stated in the Globe and Mail article) or it associates the Indian Smokes with “drug trafficking.”

What does that mean for Aboriginals: it makes the assumption that drug trafficking happens in great numbers on First Nations (Because isn’t it after all the contraband smokes that come from First Nations. As a logical person, one might begin to think: Aboriginals must also be fueling the criminal activity, such as that as drug trafficking).

My suggestion to the problem: Why not make all cigarettes illegal, and not just the ones made mostly on Canadian First Nations?

Thank you Canadian Government. You’ve done a lovely job, yet again…

Update: This advertisement was found in the UWO Gazette on page 4. Their Style Issue. Volume 104, Issue 87. Don’t worry Gazette, I get it… You have to cover costs through advertisements. Thanks for making this school newspaper free for all readers at UWO.

Look at the whole picture: It’s not all about you & it’s not all about me.

Aboriginal, Human Rights, Letters to the Editor, London Free Press, London ON Leave a comment

So this evening/AM, I am unable to sleep.

I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, especially my Letter to the Editor. I know that I would receive some personal emails and viewpoints that I would not agree with. It’s kind of stressful, but I am dealing with it. I am just glad that nobody blatantly said something racist or racial (because that stuff really does hurt).

I did receive one letter in which the writer explicitly stated: I don’t want to pay for anything that happened in the past.

Today, I was fortunate enough to meet with someone today at school from the Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade. During this meeting, it was brought up that foreigners/outsiders to Canada see this country with three characteristics. These three characteristics are:

  1. Nature
  2. French
  3. Aboriginals

In response to this letter, I said to this writer:

It has nothing to do with me and you, it has to do with Canada and how the rest of the world views Canada. I just had a meeting today with the Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade: I was informed of three characteristics in which foreigners view Canada:

  1. Nature
  2. French
  3. Aboriginal

So these social supports in place, are there to make Canada look more attractive to outsiders. Outsiders see Aboriginals in Canada. If they see them being mistreated by years of injustice, (injustices that have been committed before you were ever born and that continued until I was born and still today), then they wont be likely to come Canada. When you begin to look at the picture as a whole, and not just me and you, you will realize it has nothing to do with you or me.

Yup, I should have just said Thank you for your letter, but I couldn’t. It bothers me that people can’t look at the whole picture. It’s not all about you and it’s not all about me.