I got a beef to pick with you!

Aboriginal youth, Suicide Leave a comment

I have a beef to pick with the rest of the world.

Everyone keeps talking Aboriginal youth, like as if we are not here. Like as if we are not listening. Like as if we don’t know what is going on.

Talk TO us, not ABOUT us…Better yet, LISTEN to us!

When I say Aboriginal youth, I don’t mean just Aboriginal person confined to a certain age group, I mean anyone who is Aboriginal and who has been affected by issues that continue to affect Aboriginals, generation after generation.

Isn’t said to be that Aboriginal problems are inter-generational as effects from the Residential School system? Then, why is it that Aboriginal youth are not included in the healing process? I keep hearing our Aboriginal leaders talking about what is wrong with Aboriginal youth (Didn’t you say we have the highest suicide rates than any other group within Canada!)

Thanks for that memo!

As a survivor of a few failed suicide attempts, I can remember the very first time I thought about death. It was grade 3. What the hell? What is causing an Aboriginal child to be thinking about death in grade 3? I remember praying to the Creator to take me in my sleep. I remember writing to the Creator, and asking him how come he couldn’t “hear me and my wish to die.” My first real attempt was when I was 13 years old. I ended up in ICU. Then, my last suicide attempt was when I was 21 years old. I ended up in the cardiovascular wing of the local hospital. That was not too long ago, given that I am 24 years old. I either suck at death, or I am destined to do greater things. I am going to go with the latter.

Today, I am receiving the help that I need today. I am talking with someone. I have developed safety plans. I have removed myself from negative life situations. Things that I had to learn how to do, and things that I had to figure out over and over again to see which safety plan was best for me. Trial and error.

Nevertheless, everyone keeps talking about Aboriginal youth, like we are not here! I am sick and tired of it. I am standing up, starting today! This is also why I started this blog.

Hello world, Aboriginal youth are here, alive, and we are listening. I am meeting Aboriginal youth who are just like me in the sense that they want to change, are making change, who have changed and are remaining positive. So, why is it that we are just talked about like another number amongst other rates and statistics?

Talk TO us, not ABOUT us…Better yet, LISTEN to us!

Suicide Rates & Aboriginals

Aboriginal, Suicide Leave a comment

Today I was at school and I was discussing essays with another student who is in the same class as me.

She choose to write on cultural relevancy and Aboriginal suicide rates. The statistics are that Aboriginals have the highest suicide rates, and the youngest death rates in Canada. To sort of sum what my classmate said: If culture is incorporated into the healing process that Aboriginal suicide rates will be reduced. She also added,

It’s common sense.

Too bad it wasn’t that easy. Common sense. Oh wait, it is that easy. People just fail to listen to what Aboriginal youth are saying. This classmate of mine is also Aboriginal and female.

In the end, I was excited to hear about her essay because I wrote my essay on the same topic…Except I said:

The lack of a cultural identity is associated with high suicide rates amongst Aboriginal youth.

The same thing except just opposite variables.

I can’t wait to hear about her outcome in her essay.

Read one of my earlier posts about my essay titled Suicide.

Mental Health: Message from Andrew Forgione

Andrew Forgione, Distress Centers, London ON, Mental Health, Mental Health Awareness Week, University of Western Ontario, USC, UWO Leave a comment

Message from Andrew Forgione, new USC Prez at UWO!

Mental health is just as important as physical health!

Mental Health Awareness week is going to be on at UWO March 21-24/2011 in the UCC! Same time as the Income Tax Clinic…Can’t forget about your taxes!

Check it out the youtube channel Mental Health UWO.

Check out this cool site as well called Mind your mind!

Here is also the website for London Distress Center!

Don’t forget you are never alone (no matter how much you feel that way)! The help is there…Read my post on reaching out for help titled Not your fault!

Heritage Status? Indian Landfill?

Aboriginal, Conveyancing, Globe and Mail, Heritage status, Land claims, Land rights, Legislation, Ontario, Title Searching Leave a comment

Note: The title of this post is taken from the comments that were posted in the globe and mail article. Check out the article’s comments HERE.

This new post can be traced back to one of my first posts titled Helpless.

In my post I highlight the fact that Aboriginal title or rights claim are not a registerable interest:

At time of publication of Prof. Marguerite E. Moore’s Title Searching & Conveyancing in Ontario 6th ed. (April 2010), the Registry Act and the Land Titles Act “do not recognize Aboriginal Title or rights claims to be a registerable interest…[making] it extremely difficult to search for and [sic] identity potential Aboriginal claims.” (p. 503, Moore 2010).

And most recently, globe and mail article titled Widow Loses Court Challenge In Fight Over Heritage Status of Property. The title says it all. However in the article, it states even more,

“There was nothing on the land title to indicate the property had any archeological significance and it wasn’t registered as a heritage site.”

If land with Aboriginal interest is not registerable on titled in Ontario, I am sure that other provinces operate the same way. Just look at Oka, and other land claim disputes that occur across Canada. Wasn’t there a resort out west that had a public sign that shouted, “No Indians Allowed”? I believe so. With this post, let’s not go there.

There should be some sort of recognition of Aboriginal interest on title to land, even if it’s not registered/registerable. It should at least alert its owners or future owners when title is transferred, just like any registerable interest. It will probably avoid situations like this, and future situations that have current or future Aboriginal land claim/heritage (Never even heard of “Heritage Status” until now). Then maybe, it would lead to less dramatic disputes, and less court fees for everyone. Then maybe, the Aboriginals won’t look so much like the “bad guy” fighting for their land.

However, I can get why Aboriginal interest is not registerable on title. Some Land Claims can become pretty complicated, and take years to settle (Having to register Aboriginal interest may scare off potential buyers and reduce development…so it’s better in the long run to just develop on the land, deal with land claims later…instead of now). Did I also mention I suck at sarcasm?

But there should at least be some sort of caution on title, if current legislation isn’t going to validate it. Just a few simple words notifying purchasers/sellers to caution that there is an Aboriginal Interest on title. It may help reduce conflict…maybe?

Just a little suggestion.

PS. I know that this article has everything to do with the Heritage Conservation Act, and not Land Titles and that the incidence occurs in BC…but the fact that this land was not registered as a Heritage site and that the buyers were not aware of the land/site’s significance should be of importance–that means the land/site’s significant importance was not indicated on Title, like any other registerable interest. Heritage status, or Aboriginal interest. When I read this article, to me the bad guy in this picture appears to be none other than the Aboriginals. I wonder if this article could have been written without having to mention that it was an “Aboriginal site”? Just look at the comments under the article. I bet those would not be there if the word “Aboriginal” was not anywhere in the article.

John Martin Crawford

Aboriginal women, Domestic Violence, John Martin Crawford, Just Another Indian, Serial Killer Leave a comment

Working on an essay on Aboriginal women and gender violence.

I was speaking with another student today at the school about my topic.

He shared with me, this name: John Martin Crawford.

I have never heard of him, until now. He is a serial killer that preyed on young Native women.

Gives me chills that I never heard of him, and I am an Aboriginal woman.

The student said to me before he left, “Makes you wonder why you never heard of him.”

Makes this essay I am currently writing even more important to me.

People Don’t Listen Enough

Depression, Listen, Suicide View all 2 comments

Listening in on TEDxUWO live stream today, I was able to listen to Chris Bentley speak on some of the issues facing First Nations today in Canada.

I was very happy that he was able to speak about this, yet disappointed to read some of the comments coming in under the livestream feed. One comment had said:

We are still blaming residential school policies? That was years ago.

What some people don’t understand is that the problems that were created because of Residential schools, are inter-generational. What does that mean? That means they are passed down from one generation to the next. What does this mean for young people? They have nobody telling them, what is happening to you, is not your fault.

Just recently, I started to get help for some of the things that I experienced in my life. Some of these things made me angry for a long time. I didn’t know how to handle this anger and I didn’t know why I was angry. I remember one of the things my mom told me growing up was, “Depression is unresolved anger.”

The first time I tried to commit suicide, I remember the doctor asking, “What’s wrong? What happened?” I told him, “I am angry. I don’t know what to do.” I know one thing for sure is that I never really wanted to actually die, I just wanted to escape my pain. I was angry because I was hurt, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

This doctor didn’t listen to me. He just said, “You can’t be angry. People who are angry, don’t do what you did. You must be sad.”

I was even more angry. I couldn’t channel this anger anywhere but further inside me. I was angry because nobody was listening to me. Everyone around me kept telling me what was wrong with me, how I should be feeling, and what I was thinking. I just wished the people I was talking to actually listened to what I was saying.

I believe that people don’t listen enough. Everyone keeps talking about what needs to be done, what has to happen, but nobody listens to the people that they want to help. If you want real change to happen: Listen to what those people are saying. If you want to really help someone today, listen to what they are telling you. There can be a lot more done when you listen. Wanting to be part of change, involves listening to those you want to help.

I believe….

ABI, Acquired Brain Injury, Adrian Owen, Brain Injury, University of Western Ontario, UWO Leave a comment

Today, I am sitting at my present school, University of Western Ontario. I wish I could be attending TEDxUWO right now, but must complete this essay instead. I normally have my essays finished well in advance but decided to change my topic last minute (may be a good idea or a bad idea).

Taken from the TEDxUWO website, this is what it is all about:

TEDxUWO is an innovative organization that brings the best and brightest innovators in the country to Western for a once in a lifetime opportunity for you on Saturday, March 12, at the Grand Theatre in downtown London.

This is an opportunity to learn from the best. If you’re a student who aspires to take on a larger role in the private or public sector, a young scientist who seeks to leave a mark in research, or an entrepreneur who is just starting out — you will have a chance to gain from leaders who have built successful and enduring careers, including some of our very own alumni.

‎​We embarked on a journey to bring TEDx to campus because we knew it would be an opportunity of a lifetime for Western students. We’re hoping that people will continue to take an interest, and we’re confident you’ll like what you see

I wish I could have gone. I noticed that one of the speakers was UWO’s Own Mr. Adrian Owen. I remembered reading about when UWO’s first media release announcing Owen’s arrival and thinking about his work. His work, according to TEDxUWO, is on:

Residual brain function in patients who are non-responsive after suffering a severe brain injury.

Mr. Owen’s work caught my attention because I am a brain injury survivor. Although, I did acquire a “severe” brain injury… I am still a brain injury survivor. I was in the hospital for a month. I don’t remember much of my hospital stay. When I was released, I was considered still “comatose.” I had double vision for 6 months, had headaches everyday, constantly tired, constant ringing in my ears, mood swings… I wrote a post titled Acquired Brain Injury. The post kind of describes my experiences living with an ABI.

Now how does this relate to Mr. Owen’s work? When I was in a coma, I remember, strangely, the things people were saying around me. I don’t know why I remember these things or why I cant even remember a few days before the accident. I remember people talking around me in the coma. It was a strange experience. I believe that Mr. Owen’s work is applying science to beliefs…

I can’t describe what my family went through when I was in a coma. But what I do know is that I had to get worse in order to be transferred to a different hospital. At the new hospital, I wasn’t just left there. I remember people talking around me, talking to me, holding my hand. I could feel them.

If there is one thing that I can take from this experience to tell other people who are or may be going through the same thing that my family went through:

If you have a family member or a friend who is in a coma, whether they are unresponsive or not, talk to them, touch them, just be there with them.

Imagine being in a hospital bed, with nobody there. Even if you could talk and open your eyes. Being alone in the hospital sucks. Now imagine being there, alone and unable to talk, unable to open your eyes, unable to speak… That would suck even more. It makes me angry when I hear doctors tell other patient’s families: “They probably won’t hear you, but you can try to talk to them.” JUST BELIEVE!

The work of Adrian Owen is applying science to belief. His work is saying, “You know what: people who are unresponsive may still have some responsiveness.” I agree with him because in my coma despite me not being able to remember accident, for some strange reason, I remember people around me, talking to me, touching me…

This is my story. I believe in Mr. Owen’s work. I may not have been one to be in a “vegetative” state but I believe that his work puts meaning to my words when I say that I remember hearing people around me, feeling them.

Even though some reasons may be harder to take than others, I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Things my mom told me….

Life lessons, Mom, Mothers Leave a comment

Today, I am writing about some of the things my mom told me growing up. I wish I could just bottle up all the things mother’s told their children, save them, and read them as we get older. When my mom would tell me certain things sometimes, I would think, “What the?! Why is she telling me this?” But, it’s not WHY she told me…what’s important is that I remembered. I know now that I am older… some of these things do make much more sense!

Things my mom told me:

  • You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you have to be nice to them.
  • Always look your best.
  • Mom’s are always right.
  • Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, just work hard and be good at what you do.

I am sure there are a lot more, but those are what I can remember (For today) 😉

Have a great Saturday!

A poem: Not your fault

Poetry Leave a comment

Today this post is dedicated to the work I have been doing in counseling. For years, I have struggled with my past experiences and I am just finally talking about it with someone else. They said, “you know what happened to you, wasn’t your fault…it was the trauma you experienced.” I know that it’s not “traditional” to share with the rest of the world that you are receiving help, like counseling. But who says I am “traditional”?

I wrote this poem to help get my emotions and thoughts out of my head. In this journey called life, it wasn’t that I couldn’t get help or that I didn’t have the help…I just didn’t know how to ask for help. This poem isn’t a poem about me and expecting people to sympathize with me. In fact, that’s the last thing I want. I just want people to know that, it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to get help. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help. I believe that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign of strength and courage to realize that you can’t do everything on your own, and to ask for help from others.


Not your fault

Everyone told me,
You have to be careful Naomi
Watch what you say,
Watch what you do,
What where you walk,
Is it my fault that I walked the wrong way?
Nobody told me,
But Naomi,
You have to watch your back
Is it my fault that I didn’t watch my back?
Nobody told me,
Naomi you can’t trust everyone you met
Some call it naivety
Some call it stupidity
I call it hope,
Is it my fault that I hope,
Hope that the next person won’t hurt me?
Nobody told me,
People you trust,
Can be people that hurt you,
Can be people that take,
The only things you own:
Your body, your heart, and your soul.
Everyone was telling everyone
Else, but me
What happened to Naomi
Wasn’t her fault.
Nobody told me,
Naomi, but you have to learn
Everything on your own.
Is it my fault that I learned everything
On my own?
Nobody told me,
That I could ask for help,
That I didn’t have to do this on my own.
Is it my fault that I did this on my own too?
Everyone told me,
Naomi I can help you
But nobody told me,
Naomi, it’s okay you can ask me for help.
Everyone told me the help was there.
Is that my fault too,
That I didn’t ask for help from you?
Everyone was telling everyone
Else but me,
Naomi, it’s not your fault.
Is it my fault, I didn’t listen to you?
Is it my fault, that I blamed myself too?

Documentary: Aboriginal Today

Aurora Finkle, Documentary, Life on the Reserve, Reel Injun, Sacred Dollars, Third World Canada Leave a comment

Today, I decided to write a post about some of the documentaries that are being made, have been made, and some that I have seen. I believe that this is one positive way to make the rest of the world, not just Canada, aware of the living conditions that Aboriginals live in and some of the positive work that Aboriginals are doing today. This is also why I started this blog: to help rid of the old stereotypes and to try to write about my experiences as a young Aboriginal female today… whether the experiences are positive or negative. I want people to become aware of the situations that Aboriginals still face today, even though many still believe that Aboriginals receive “too much” help or should not receive any “help” at all. I beg to differ–this “help” isn’t to make Aboriginals and their living conditions “better” than the rest of Canada but the assistance and programs and work being done to better the lives of Aboriginals today, is to put them on a more equal footing. We need to work together to help make everyone’s lives here on Planet Earth more enjoyable not just for one group of people, but for everyone part of the Human Race.

Here is a list of the posts that feature the trailers of documentaries worth watching: